“ The pain of a loss is a reflection of love, but you never regret loving as hard as you can.”Ģ2. No matter how much time you had, you’ll always want more”.Ģ1. You will grieve, in some form, forever.ġ8. Death brings out the best and the worst in families, so be prepared.ġ7. People will tell you things that aren’t true about your grief.ġ5. People will say stupid, hurtful things without even realizing it.ġ4. People will bring you food because they don’t know what else to do. Don’t feel bad throwing it away.ġ3. When people offer support, take them up on it.ġ2. You will plan the funeral while in a haze. If you aren’t happy with the funeral you had, have another memorial service later.ġ1. Death and grief make people uncomfortable, so be prepared for awkward encounters.ġ0. There is always time to step back and take a moment to say goodbye.”ĩ. “There will be pressure from others to move on, even minutes or hours after a death, and this can lead to regrets”.Ĩ. A home death/hospice death is not always a good death.ħ. It’s too real.”ĥ. A hospital death is not always a bad death.Ħ. “Dying is not like you see on TV or in the movies. It is not peaceful or prepared. You may not have a spiritual or meaningful moment. You can plan for death, but death does not always comply with our wishes or plans.Ĥ. No matter how prepared you think you are for a death, you can never be fully prepared for the loss and the grief.Ģ. If you finish this post and you’re annoyed about all the things we forgot, leave a comment to keep the list going! I wish someone had told me…ġ. So, with your help, that is what we have today: a quick and dirty list of the things we wish we had known about grief before we knew anything about grief. If it’s in quotes, it’s something one of our fabulous readers shared with us on Twitter or Facebook.

So, we think back to the basics. Not the theory stuff, not the ideas about how to cope… just the really basic things that people never tell you about grief. We think about grief a lot around here… We write about types of grief, grief theory, personal reflections, creative expression for coping with grief, practical ideas for managing grief, and on and on and on. But there are some days that all that seems like a lot to take in. Is this Normal?, Grief Articles for Beginners, 64 Things, Lists, Unique Nature of Grief

Just Her Luck by Jeanette Lynn